Poll Dancing Politicians Are All The Same

“Repression is for a dictatorship what propaganda is for the democracy.”

Just thought I would open with this terrifically true quote from the controversial Noam Chomsky (never heard of him? An interesting if slightly unhinged political activist.) which sort of outlines my views of democracy, libertarianism, hugahippieism, etc. The fact that politics has always been one big propaganda showcase. Nowadays the problem seems to have escalated beyond human belief when considering politicians closer to home, such as Hamish McBrown and The Highest Lord, Earl of Greater London, The Duke of Cameron.

Lets go back to the 1930's when Adolf Hitler was at his 'peak'. He conducted a propaganda campaign in order to achieve votes so he could lead the Nazi Party into power in Germany. Fair enough, good on the lad, he had ambition. However, the key difference with Hitler and modern politicians is that Hitler actually knew what he was going to do when in power. Yes, his plans were a tad unrealistic...and brutal...but he knew precisely what he was doing. Until 1944-45 when he sort of realised he'd cocked up slightly. But that is a whole different story that I will probably revisit in a future post.

Hitler had a manifesto. He didn't stick to it, went off on a complete tangent for six years and then blasted himself in the noggin when he realised that his plans had failed a little bit. But give him credit, he actually wanted to get into power for a reason. Unlike modern politicians who couldn't give a flying fuck what they do when in power as long as they get their ugly mugs into newspapers and onto our long suffering television screens.

When David Cameron wants votes, he rides his bicycle, ensuring that he has organised a nice camera session on a street right outside his mansion when he gets on it wearing knee pads, reflectors and luminous green clothes. (Note the word green. He tends to use that alot) So, congrats David. You are supposed to be conservative and yet the only people you are going to win over are brown-nose Obama worshipping liberal shrub humpers. Smooth move...

But he couldn't actually care less. As long as he has more votes than the one-eyed Scottish id-(better not...) Brown, then he'll be more than happy. When he wins the election, he and his toff Tory buddies will enjoy a recession busting extravaganza with top hats, the finest cubans and cuvée de prestige champagne. And then when the morning hangover hits him, he will realise that he has got himself into a bit of a right royal mess.

When modern politicians come to power, they do not have a game plan. I'm afraid to say that Barack does not have a game plan. (I realise that saying that is like denouncing God, but I do that constantly so, in effect, what I have said here is tame and uncontroversial in comparison). Blair didn't have a game plan, Brown certainly doesn't have a game plan (doesn't take Mendeleev to work that out...) and when Cameron comes to power, he will not have a game plan.

Obama simply rode his wave of publicity for the 20 or so years that he campaigned for the U.S. election and he has been proclaimed as a second god because he has said that the world will change. It simply won't. Obama is the definition of Idealism. In the Vietnam War, Lyndon Johnson, even with the increasing causalities, still went ahead with the war as he strongly believed that the U.S. would emerge victorious. How wrong he was.

Barack can't just come out and say that the world will change. It won't and there will be many very, very disappointed faces. It's like Jesus turning up at a wedding and not being able to turn the water into wine which unfortunately leads to the groom sobering up and realising what an ugly hippo he is about to marry. And then he will start hitting on the bride's mother and it will all get out of hand. And it will all be Jesus' fault. The same as Obama and his advisers should be blamed completely if his tenure goes sour. Which it will, pretty much guaranteed.

You may ask 'What's you're solution then, if you're so smart?'

Answer is I don't actually possess a solution. But I believe the problem is big enough and obvious enough that one should be found. I would suggest a dictatorship, as dictators have no reason to be campaigning for anything, so they can get on with the job at hand. But over the years, dictatorships have not worked quite as well as they might have done (Nazi Germany, Italy, Iraq, the USSR, etc...) and only a few remain, most notably in North Korea (Shine on Kim Jong Il, you crazy old mofo!)

If David Cameron does come to power, he will arrive on a white stallion, waving a sword around in the air, shouting about how amazing the country is going to be with Tory leadership. Four years later, he will be limping out of no.10 with his tail between his legs and with the street credit of a donkey suffering from piles. Really, really bad piles. I mean, like, hemorrhoids the size of the moon....