Lets Get Gazeboed For St George!

Sometimes I really despise our country. Especially when we turn to the goddamn Irish when we need to celebrate something. What is wrong with England? It's not going to bite your hand off. It may trod on you (reference to the not-so-good times and drunken yobs), steal your money (reference to economic downturn and drunken yobs) and piss on you (reference to poor weather and, again, drunken yobs...) but it is a hell of a lot better than Ireland. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Especially America. Don't get me started...

It is a real shame that we fail to recognise our own National Day as much as we recognise the Irish national day. Yes, St George was Roman and yes, he is also the patron saint of the boy scouts in America but that should not stop us from being able to celebrate by getting utterly pyjamared on fine British ale. It is what George would have wanted.

And once again, Boris Johnson has proven that he is one of the greatest men on the planet by stating that he is going to ensure that our National Day is celebrated in a worthy manner. There are going to be week long celebrations down in London starting on April 23rd, with parades and concerts and it will be a fantastic occasion in which we can all celebrate the best of England.

But, inevitably, the Political Correctness brigade will be humping his leg like a keen terrier asking questions like: 'Why are you doing this?', 'Isn't this unethical?' and 'How will minorities like the Muslims and the Welsh feel?' Well, to be totally honest, who gives a flying fuck about the non-English. The bastards who are complaining should shut their foreign gobs. They choose to live here, so why are they complaining?

If we decide to go and live in Brazil, we have to deal with the carnival. If we decide to live in Japan, we have to deal with cold fish and on-time public transport. If we decide to go and live in Australia, we have to deal with bitey snakes and Aussie Rules football. Very much the same as foreigners coming here and having to deal with the dreadful weather and cricket. And they should learn to deal with us celebrating our national day with pride.

On April 23rd, I don't want to see a house or a car without the St. George Cross proudly waving around. I don't want to see a street corner without a man in an England shirt pissing on his own foot. I want to see every pub open, with lager louts belting out 'Rule Britannia' horribly off key and where everyone is having a bloody good time, celebrating the magnificence of our fantastic nation.

Now for a message to the politically correct arseholes:

Put up or piss off.